Bullying is common among kids and even in teens. In fact it is so common that parents sometimes think nothing of it. However, bullying - and being bullied - has a big impact on kids.

Research results on bullying and violent behavior

Studies showed that violent behavior is learned early in life. But parents and other family members can help kids learn how to deal with their feelings without becoming violent or aggressive. In the article Raising Children to Resist Violence: What You Can Do, published in the APA Help Center Website, experts suggest parents take the following steps to help reduce a child's violent behavior.

Suggested steps for dealing with aggressive behavior

Parents play a crucial part in lowering kids' violent tendencies by creating a safe and loving atmosphere at home.

Below are some suggestions from experts for dealing with children.

Consistent love and affection

Kids need to feel safe and loved. They also need to develop a sense of trust. This is why kids need to have a strong and loving relationship with their parents. Aggressive or violent behaviors are a lot less likely to develop in kids whose parents are involved in their development early on.

If your child seems unusually difficult to care for, consult your doctor. He/she can refer you to another doctor or to a psychologist, or refer you to parenting classes to help you deal with problems.

Supervision

As children develop and mature, they need their parents to support and protect them. If left unsupervised, how are kids to know what is right and wrong? Studies show that unsupervised kids usually develop behavior problems.

Know where your kids are at all times. Get to know their friends. If you can't be around for some reason, ask a trusted family member or friend to look after your kids. Never leave young children at home.

Let your kids be involved in various supervised school activities and community programs and play activities. Note how they interact with other children. Teach them how to respond properly to teasing, insults or threats. Teach them also to deal with anger by hitting. Explain to them why this behavior is not acceptable and tell them to stay away from kids who behave like that.

Lead by example

Set an example for your kids since they often learn this way. Also, you family's values and attitudes can strongly influence your kids. Your family values, pride in your family and heritage can be a source of strength for children. They will hold on to these things when faced with difficult situation such a negative peer pressure, if you live in a violent neighborhood or if they (kids) go to a rough school.

Rules and discipline

Children sometimes be aggressive and hit somebody. If this happens, remind your kids about the risks of violent behavior. Be generous with praises if your kids did the right thing, like for instance, solving a conflict without violence. Children are likely to repeat good deeds when rewarded with praise and attention. Never hit your kids, as this practice in a way, negates what you are trying to teach them.

Be clear and consistent with your rules. According to the article, "children need structure with clear expectations for their behavior." If you set rules but don't enforce them, children get confused and become more tempted to test boundaries of the principles you have set. Include your kids when you set down rules, with an explanation of what you expect from them. Let them know too, that there will be consequences if they break the rules.

Keep violence out of your home

Never let your kids see you and your spouse fight. Discourage fights between and among siblings. Kids need to feel that home is safe. And though they may not become violent if they witness violence at home, they could become more inclined to resolve conflicts with violence.

Contact a mental health provider if the people in your home hurt each other either physically or verbally.

Limit your kids' exposure to violence in the media

Violent TV programs and video games have a negative effect on children's behavior. Experts suggest taking the following actions to limit your kids' exposure to media violence:

- Limit television viewing time to 1 to 2 hours a day.
- Make sure you know what TV shows your children watch, which movies they see, and what kinds of video games they play.
- Talk to your children about the violence that they see on TV shows, in the movies, and in video games.
- Help them understand how painful it would be in real life and the serious consequences for violent behaviors.
- Discuss with them ways to solve problems without violence.
Help your children stand up against violence.

Lastly, support your kids when they stand up against violence. Help them understand that it takes courage to resist violence than to go along with it. Teach your kids to get along with people of different ethnic, racial and religious backgrounds. Inform your kids that bullying can be a set-up for violence.

Source: APA Help Center