Cousins who rarely spend time together sometimes find it hard to get along, especially during family events where they are thrown together and expected to be pals.

There are ways to prevent cousins from getting at each other's throats. Here's how to help cousins become buddies:

Prepare - not pressure - the kids

Parents should prepare their kids ahead of time to meet their cousins. Kids who haven't met their cousins before or haven't seen them for years should be encouraged by parents to get to know their cousins. Parents should take time to share pictures and information - such as age and interests - about the distant cousins to their kids.

Describe activities that the children might enjoy doing together, so your kids can visualize how they can have a good time with their cousins.

Beware of pressuring your kids to much. Lectures on the importance of relatives and of getting along don't work too well with kids. Above all, do not threaten them with punishment if they do not try to get along well with their cousins.

Kids have a tendency to rebel against pressure and show it by behaving badly towards their cousins on purpose. They may also feel stressed by the pressure you put on them. This is because they are afraid they won't live up to your high expectations.

Be sensitive of inter-family relationships

Cousins who live far away may feel left out by the closeness between grandparents and the cousins who live near each other. Cousins who live near their grandparents on the other hand, may feel possessive and view visiting cousins as intruders.

Grandparents can remedy the situation by not playing favorites. They should be equally available to all the cousins and should make it clear to the cousins who live near them that they must share the grandparents to the visiting cousins because they don't get to see them as often as the cousins who live nearby.

Do not make negative comparisons between cousins

Some parents, especially those who put so much pride in their kids, boast of their kids' achievements, etc. Parents of the visiting cousins will naturally respond. Before you know it, you are pitting the children against each other. And this is what you must avoid. Smart, sensitive parents understand that kids mature and excel in different areas and will avoid comparison between the cousins.

And if say, a grandparent complemented one cousin, make sure an aunt or uncle (preferably a parent of the complemented kid) should complement the other cousin.

Assign different roles to play

Experts suggest assigning children different roles to play. This avoids competition and encourages good relationships.

Protector role - older cousin may be assigned to look after the younger ones. Older cousins should be reminded to be a model of good behavior.

Helper role - younger cousins may be assigned to help the older cousins with simple tasks such as playing with goal-oriented toys such as building blocks.

Teacher role - older cousins may be assigned to demonstrate how to do play certain activities, operate toys, teach new knowledge and skills to the younger ones. Bring toys and games that the kids can use.

Adviser role - encourage the cousins to share their experiences, problems, offer each other advice, etc. When they are older, they will be thankful that they established good communication lines during childhood and be each other's support network.