Many parents have unity issues in disciplining their teens. Dad wants to have the kid grounded for a week, but mom says no. Mom says it is bed time, but dad starts playing with their kid. Can a mother and a father with totally different parenting styles unify in disciplining their children?

Reinforce the unified front

Being united on discipline issues would be ideal, but it is almost impossible to achieve. According to the author of Try and Make Me!, Ray Levy, "Sometimes you'll find parents that are pretty close, and that's nice, but it's really rare."

While some teens have easy temperament, some have difficult temperaments and need the consistency of discipline coming from unified parents. Levy encourages parents to be united to face one issue at a time, "Pick one battle (to fight as a united front) and win it, then move on to the next." Winning a small battle will reinforce the unified front, helping parents move on much to bigger battles.

Levy adds that disparity in disciplining styles is symptomatic of another problem. For instance, there is something wrong going on if the mother says it is time for dinner, and her husband ignores it and continues playing video games with his son, there may be something more going on. In this case, Levy suggests that parents should seek the help of a counselor, close friend, family member, or a person that they trust.

Appear unified in front of your children

Parenting experts advise parents to appear unified in front of their teens and discuss their differences in private. You need to back each other up in front of your children, even if you do not agree with what your spouse is doing. However, have all your disagreements behind closed doors. This will help your teens respect your authority.

In some cases, however, showing conflict in front of your children can be good. A wife said, "When my husband and I aren't united and our kids see this, it's an opportunity to teach them respect for each other and negotiation skills."

Agree to disagree

Compromise is a must in effective parenting. But sometimes, parents cannot arrive at an agreement no matter how hard they try. For example, you feel strongly that your teens should not be given an advance on their allowance, but your spouse feel just as strongly that your kids should receive allowance.

In this case, parenting experts recommend the "agree to disagree" solution. So your spouse gives your children allowance, but you will not give the kids an advance if they do not have enough money and want to buy something. If both of you recognize that further argument is undesirable, unnecessary, or otherwise undesirable, it is best to agree to disagree.