Dealing With Difficult Co-workers

Do you have coworkers who make you feel unworthy, inadequate, or miserable? Are they driving you nuts? Are you aching to scream: "Enough is enough!"?

It is much easier to deal with difficult coworkers who are simply obnoxious or when their behavior is affecting not just you, but many others in the workplace as well. It is tougher, however, when they attack you personally or downplay your professional standing. Difficult coworkers can make things very hard for you, but they seldom see themselves as the difficult ones. While it's unlikely that you can change such people, you can do things to avoid being a victim of difficult coworkers.

Identify difficult coworkers

First and foremost, hone your skills in distinguishing "toxic" coworkers who come in many shapes and sizes. Many are non-stop talkers but never good listeners. Many can't keep a commitment. Other difficult coworkers feel that they must have the last word always. Others try to put down any creation of their coworkers. They also appear in the form of two-faced backstabbers, cut-you-downers, gossipers, meddlers, instigators, or nasty competitors. Avoid these kinds of people as much as possible.

Estimate your situation

It might shock you to find out that you're being treated unprofessionally by a coworker. Relax, don't decapitate you difficult coworker. Save your samurai for later, you'll be needing it. Seriously, you need to be very calm and try to rationalize the situation. And take heart, you're not the only one being victimized by difficult coworkers.

Do something

You have to do something once you know exactly what is happening. The decision to let the situation pass is not an option as it won't improve. If left unaddressed, the situation usually worsens. Let your difficult coworker know that you know what he/she is up to and that you'll bring the matter to the higher authority if he/she doesn't stop bullying you. It's much better to address the problem early while you're still objective and can still control your emotions.

Initiate talks

You can initiate a conversation with the coworker in question if you believe that he/she is eager to restore peace between you two. Start with statements like "I could be wrong" or "I'm very sorry for the things I may have done to hurt you." Don't make assumptions or place blames. Consider approaches that won't put him/her on the defense. You can talk over lunch, during a break, or some place away from your office. Speak for yourself and about your problems. Never speak for anyone.

There's a big chance that your difficult coworker will not change despite your sweat-and-blood efforts. Make sure that all of your dealings with this person is kept private. Always keep your cool and don't confront him/her in the presence of other coworkers or your boss. If the problem persists after you've attempted to tackle it, you have to approach the HR or your supervisor about the problem.

Don't stoop down to their level

There are lots of dysfunctional approaches to addressing problems brought about by difficult coworkers in which you don't want to do. Some no-no's include sending the difficult coworker anonymous notes, bad-mouthing the person to the boss and colleagues, and gossiping about him/her.