Dealing With a Difficult Boss

A woman has just been assigned to her new supervisor who is bent on making her life a living hell. The supervisor is definitely out of control - she talks down to the poor employee and doesn't allow her to go to the bathroom, talk to her coworkers, and ask another coworker for help.

Many employees find themselves in situations where they have a very difficult boss who often uses his/her power and control to threaten or intimidate subordinates. Although dealing with a difficult boss requires some effort, there are many concrete things that you can follow to address the problem. Here are some tips many people in the same situation find helpful:

Don't fear your boss

Fearing your boss means surrender to him/her. The labor law is behind you: you have the right for a bathroom break and the right to speak. Most importantly, you have the right to be treated fairly. Just know your rights as an employee. Make sure that you're treated justly. But you don't need to make pals with your supervisor.

A difficult boss will do anything in his/her power to make you suffer, but you must remember that you shouldn't allow your difficult boss to succeed. At the end of the day, it's still up to you if you'll let his/her behavior affect you and your work. In other words, you decide how much power you'll give your monster boss.

Speak up

When you're not afraid of your boss, speak up and try to understand the issues he/she has with you. Kindly and respectfully tell your difficult boss ways you like to be treated. Remember: Don't attack the person and become too emotional.

Avoid using "you" messages. Instead, use "I" messages like "I like for people to treat me with respect," that don't single out or accuse the difficult boss. You don't need to meet with your boss alone. Ask your boss's superior or someone from HR to mediate the talks. If all efforts fail, you can go to your company's legal department.

Learn about your boss

You can avert the effects your difficult boss has on you by learning more about his/her personality (for example, his/her likes and dislikes, how is he/she outside the work environment, his/her friends, etc.). To learn more about your boss, you have to ask open-ended questions and use your listening skills to connect with him/her. This re-focusing of energy moves your conversation with your boss in different directions, away from getting into heated arguments.

Seek help

You have to look after yourself. You can seek the comfort of those who can give you help and support. You can get something from a friend, coworker, a counselor or a coach regarding how to take care of yourself against a difficult boss. They can also help you flash the negativity out of your system. Focus on the things that give you pleasure at work. Think about pleasant non-work related things instead of dwelling on your issues with your boss.